Second chance

Today I read a copy of Krispy's divorce decree. Her divorce was final in December, and Fred moved into her house that same month. My attorney told me to get a copy of the decree and forward it to her.

I had been DREADING actually learning the particulars. I didn't want to read about my ex and his pregnant you-know-what buying her house together. But, since my motto this week is "ignorance creates anxiety; knowledge is power", I decided to finally just do it.

I drove to the downtown courthouse, went through security, shook like a leaf while ordering a copy of the decree. Then I sat down right there and read it. And then I LAUGHED OUT LOUD!!

Krispy's now ex-husband was loaded. Not loaded like Bill Gates, but compared to my ex, who was much better at accumulating debt than assets, he looks like quite a gem. I have to think that someday Krispy is going to wake up and think, "What the hell have I done?" Fred has 6-figure debt. And now he has two different families to support.

I also had to laugh reading that there will be a hearing six months after their baby is born to establish paternity. What a disgrace! And so glad it is not MY disgrace!

I can't stop laughing. For some reason, this knowledge that Krispy gave up one solvent, honest, hard-working, good-looking (I met him once), and fairly well-to-do guy -- with ZERO DEBT -- for a guy who cheated on his wife, left his four-year-old daughter, has no assets other than a house that is now devalued to less than the mortgage, and has gargantuan debt -- this knowledge is making me feel really free. That could have been me: married to a cheater, a drinker, a spender, a workaholic, an alcoholic.

But it's not. I AM FREE. I feel like I walked away from a deadly crash that should have killed me. I walked away and now I have a second chance to live the life I was meant to live.